Chapter 5: Have a Little Faith in Me

*AMY'S POV*

Standing outside my daughter's house, I don't want to go inside.  How in the hell did this happen?  I can't help but think I'm being punished for something.  This is my payback...but why did it have to happen to her?

I guess this is a mother's worst fear...that one of their children will have to bear the punishment of their mistakes.  I don't know if my heart can take this.

When Mason called me, he was a mess of course...he had gotten her to take a nice hot bath, which I'm sure relaxed her.

I instructed him to give her a Valium and send her to bed so she could sleep.  I know he was worried about giving her another pill, but I know it won't hurt her.

I finally go inside and check in on her.  She's sleeping like an angel.  I want so badly to crawl into bed with her, hold her like I used to and make everything okay, but that won'd do any good now.  My baby is hurting and I can't comfort her because she doesn't know me.  How am I supposed to deal with this?

Okay, get your shit together, Amy.  Quit feeling sorry for yourself and concentrate on helping your daughter.

Maybe now my effing useless Bachelor's degree in Psychology will help something.

I make Mason go upstairs and take a nap while I hit the computer.  First I contact an old classmate of mine. Her name is Cora Schuler and she has experience working with patients who have had brain injuries, so she knows about amnesia.  I shoot her a quick e-mail, telling her it's an emergency and if she'll drop whatever she's working on and come help me I'll give her whatever she wants.

Then I do some Googling.  I don't really learn much except that most cases of amnesia occur after head trauma.  I don't know how that would have happened...but she has certainly been through a trauma.

I check my e-mail again and see an e-mail from my classmate.  She tells me she'll be happy to help.  I give her directions and tell her to come over.  Thank God for her.  She's always been a sweetheart.  No matter what was going on, she would be happy to help.

It isn't long before she gets here.

Amy: Cora, you're a lifesaver.

Cora: Whoa, don't tell  me that yet, let's focus on what's going on with Hadley.  Has she been through any kind of traumatic experience lately.

Amy: Well, she died, but we were able to bring her back.

Cora: Bring her back?

Amy: Um...yeah...she was a ghost...we took her to the science lab, fed her ambrosia...the whole bit.

Cora: *laughs* I'm sorry...I've never heard it described quite like that.

Amy: Well, that's pretty much how it went...

Cora: How did all this happen?

Amy: She took a pill she wasn't supposed to.

Cora: Does she have depression?

Amy: God no, she didn't do it on purpose.

Cora: Are you sure?

Amy: Cora, I would know.  She's not the internalizing type.

Cora: Okay...what happened when she took the pill?

Amy: Her husband would know more about it...but he said she died almost instantly...

Cora: Did she fall down?  Possibly on her head?

Amy: She probably fell.

Cora: Well, that could be it...but let's focus on what kind of memory loss she is suffering from...she doesn't remember anything?

Amy: That's what Mason told me.  I haven't been able to see her.

Cora: Can she walk, talk, all that?

Amy: Yes.

Cora: She just doesn't know who she is or have any memories of her life?

Amy: That's it.

Cora: If I had to guess without speaking with her, I would guess retrograde amnesia, but I really need to speak with her to make a completely informed diagnosis.

Amy: I've been out of school too long...what does that mean?

Cora: Basically that she can't remember anything from her past, specifically past events.  She might remember how to do things she used to, like play the piano, but she doesn't remember how she learned.  Does that make sense?

Amy: Yeah...Mason said she used the exercise equipment last night.

Cora: Mason is her husband, right?

Amy: Yes.

Cora: Is there anyone else that lives in the house?

Amy: No, just the dog.

Cora: Okay, well...when she wakes up I'll speak with her.

Amy: Okay.  Let me introduce you to her husband while we wait.

*MASON'S POV*

Aunt Amy has called a colleague of hers over her to work with Hadley.  I'm hoping she helps.

Amy: I'm going to give you two time to talk.  I'm going to check on Hadley.

Cora: Thank you Amy.

Cora: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mason.  I'm only sorry we couldn't have met under better circumstances.

Mason: You can say that again.  Do you think you can help my wife?

Cora: As I told Amy, I can't give you anything definitive until I assess Hadley, but I have a pretty good idea what it is.

She tells me the whole thing about retrograde amnesia and all that, but she doesn't tell me the thing I most want to know.

Mason: What can I do to help her remember?

Cora: Unfortunately Mason, with this type of amnesia, telling stories and memories don't really help - in fact they have been known to cause more distress than comfort.  There's really not much you can do to get her to remember her past, but you can help her by being here for her.  Build memories for her now.  No one can tell when and if she will ever get her memory back, but she will most likely be able to lead a normal life regardless.

Mason: She she could be like this forever?

Cora: Possibly, but she can remember...it's called spontaneous recovery, but more often than not, it just happens sometimes with no clear cause.  Oh, but I do want to tell you something.  Amy was telling me that Hadley died and you had to bring her back, right?

Mason: Yeah...that's how this whole mess started.

Cora: Well since she technically died, she is actually no longer your wife.  The marriage is void upon her death.

Mason: What?  Why?

Cora: It's just the way the law works, but I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't be surprised.

Mason: So what are we?  Was the marriage annulled?

Cora: No...court systems haven't encountered it much,but the ones that have had to have deemed it the same as a divorce.

Great, so not only does my wife not remember me, but we're divorced.  That's just great.

*HADLEY'S POV*

I feel like I've been sleeping forever, but I do feel more refreshed...if only I weren't still confused as hell.  Mason is so nice, I wish I could remember being in love with him....I could certainly see how anyone would want to be his wife.

Suddenly, there's a gentle knock at the door interrupting my thoughts.

Hadley: Hello?

A woman's voice replies: Hadley?  Can I come in?

Hadley: Yes?

The door cracks a little and an older woman with light brown hair comes inside.

Woman: Hi, Hadley.  My name's Amy.

Hadley: Hi, it's nice to meet you...again, I guess...um, forgive me, I don't know how we know each other.

*AMY'S POV*

Somehow I thought when she saw me there would be an instant recognition of some sort...like the bond that started way back when I was carrying her in my womb would be able to smash right through and she would know that I am her mother.  But she is just staring at me blankly...with a complete lack of recognition in her face.

Hadley: How do we know each other?

Amy: Well, I'm actually your mother.

Hadley: Oh!  I'm so sorry, I didn't realize...

Amy: No, don't apologize sweetie, it's okay.  I understand what's going on.  You had no way of knowing.  We don't even look alike.  I probably should have brought your father.

Hadley: Why?

Amy: You look almost identical to him...except that you're a girl.

Hadley: Oh..okay...

Amy: I'm sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous.  There's actually someone to see you.  Someone who can help.

Hadley: Is it someone else I know?

Amy: No, she's a friend of mine...a therapist that might be able to help you get your memory back.  Will you talk to her?

Hadley: Of course...

Amy: Okay sweetie, why don't you get dressed and meet her downstairs in the sitting room.

Hadley: Okay...thanks Amy.

*HADLEY'S POV*

I come downstairs and sit down next to Amy...or my mother...when this blonde woman walks in.

Amy: Hadley, this is Cora, she's the lady I talked to you about.

Cora: Hello Hadley.

Amy: I'm going to give you all some privacy.

Cora scoots closer to me.

Cora: Your family tells me you're having trouble with your memory.

Hadley: Yeah...

Cora: Why don't you tell me everything you do remember...

I tell her everything, which doesn't amount to much.

Hadley: Do you think you can help me?

Cora: I can certainly work with you.  I can't say when and if you'll get your memory back, but I can tell you that I would like to work with you exclusively for awhile.  Would that be okay with you?
Hadley: Sure...whatever you think will help.

*AMY'S POV*

Cora: Okay, I'm finished.  I'm going to need a full medical history to rule anything else out.
Amy: Sure.  She's been very healthy her entire life, there really isn't much to tell.

Amy: So what do you think?  Is she going to get her memory back?
Cora: You know I can't say for sure...we just have to hope for the best.