Chapter 4: Make You Feel My Love

*MASON'S POV*

I must be hearing things...did she just ask what I think she asked?

Mason: Baby, what do you mean?  You know who I am.

Her forehead creases and her eyes squint like she's concentrating as she stares at me.  Her eyes are moving from left to right, as though frantically looking for something.

She's trying to remember me.  Oh God, this can't really be happening...can it?  Amy didn't say anything about this happening.

Hadley: I'm sorry...I don't...

Mason: It's Mason...your husband...Mason Pope...you're telling me you don't know me at all?

She shakes her head and I can see tears brimming in her eyes.

I'm frightening her.  In all the years I have known her, I have never seen her look this scared.

I have to admit that I'm scared too.  It occurs to me that if she can't remember me at all, there's probably a lot more she can't remember...like her entire life.

Mason: What do you remember?

Hadley: Um...I...I'm not sure...I remember you grabbing my hand...at the hospital?
Mason: The science lab...
Hadley: I remember getting in your car, coming here and eating because I was starving...then I remember a bright light surrounding me...and...that's it.

I decide not to say anything about her being dead only moments ago.  That might be too much for her.

Mason: So that's everything you remember...about your entire life?

Hadley: *looks really confused* No...that can't be right...I...I have to have some kind of memory of my childhood or something, don't I? 

She looks up at me with an absolutely terrified expression.

Hadley: What's wrong with me?

Mason: Baby, I don't know, but I promise you we'll figure it out...

I reach in to hug her and she pulls away.

I can't stop my face from falling...

Hadley: I'm sorry...you seem like a very nice man...but...I

Mason: No, I understand.  Um...okay, we're going to get through this thing...maybe if I told you some things about your life it will help you remember...
Hadley: Ok...
Mason: Um...I don't even know where to start...we have known each other our entire lives...when we were kids...our mothers are best friends...do you remember your mother?

Hadley: *shakes her head* How could I not remember my own mother?

Okay, maybe starting in the past was a bad idea...maybe the present...without bringing up the whole "you died" thing...

Mason: Okay...it's okay baby, let's not think about that right now.  Right now, you just have to know this:  This is your home.  The place where you are safe and loved.  You don't have to be afraid here.

Hadley looks up at the house.  I expect her to smile...to recognize something...or even to complain that the siding seems loose under one of the windows...something...but she just stares.

Hadley: I don't remember any of it...how is this possible?
Mason: I don't know, but we'll get through it together...that's how we always do things...
Hadley: I can't do this right now.
Mason: What do you mean?
Hadley: Ma-Mason?  Um...I think I would like to be left alone right now.

Mason: But...
Hadley: I promise I will stay in the house...I just want to be alone, okay?

I sigh.

Mason: Okay.

After an exhausting two days, I am ready for some sleep...but given the circumstances, I know I can't sleep in our bed, so I take the girls old room.  We still haven't done anything with it...thank goodness.

*HADLEY'S POV*

After Mason goes upstairs, I come inside.  He was upset that I was sending him away, but I have too much of my own confusion going on in my head right now...I can't handle his too...and the more he talked to me about my past...and even my present...it just scares me more.

How can I not remember anything?

I look around at this house...it's very big...I wonder if I have a family...if Mason and I have children...and where they are...surely they can't be that old...I can't be more than...um...

Um...oh for chrissakes, how can I not know how old I am?

I sigh.  I have to just clear my head...maybe look around.  I'm standing in a very pretty blue room with blue couches, a fireplace, a bookshelf...it's very relaxing.  Maybe I should just stay here....

To the left of me, there's a kitchen...maybe I can whip up some french toast in the morning...
Wait...do I know how to fix french toast?  Most people make it with milk and eggs, but I make it with eggnog...it makes it taste so much better...

What the...?  I don't know how old I am, who my husband is, whether or not I have children, and who my parents are, but I can remember how to make french toast?  How does that make sense?

I decide to go to the right instead.  Directly past this room...which I'm guessing is a sitting room...is an office...there's a computer and an easel...I touch the painting that is on it, unfinished...did I paint this?  I don't know...I'm not 100% sure, but I think I can pain something if given the oppurtunity.  Hmm...

There is a staircase leading upstairs and downstairs in this room as well, and I decide to go up.

I walk to the first closed door I come to on my right and find workout equipment.

Hmm...I feel like I could work out a little...maybe lift some weights...maybe it will relax me...

So I change into some workout clothes that fit, so they must be mine and work out until I can smell myself...that means I'm done, right?

Either way, working out didn't help...I wonder if I like working out?  I seem to know what I'm doing...Geez, I feel like an alien trapped in someone else's body.

I leave the room in search of a shower....

I open a door to what is most likely the master bedroom...though once again I don't recognize it.

Much like the rest of the house, it is very pretty, and soothing...there's some perfume on the dresser and some makeup there too...they must be mine, but I just can't remember them...

I crumble onto the floor where I stand...looking around at this room...in this house...not knowing anything or anyone...

I can't help but feel completely alone.

I'm so scared...what if my memory never comes back?  What if something terrible happened to me and that's why I lost my memory?  I don't know what to do...

The tears I have been trying to keep at bay finally fall freely down my face.

What is wrong with me?

*MASON'S POV*

I am startled awake when I hear someone crying...sobbing actually.  It's Hadley...I have to go to her.

Sure enough, when I open our bedroom door, she is curled up in front of the dresser.

Mason: Baby, it's going to be okay.
Hadley: *through sobs* Please stop calling me baby.

Ouch.  That stings probably more than it should.  Somehow I thought that if I keep reminding her how much I love her that it will help her remember how much she loves me...but I guess I was wrong.  I don't know what to do, but I know I can't let her just sit there.

Mason: Okay, fair enough.  Why don't you get up off the floor...do you need a hand?

Hadley: No I can...

But she can't, so I hold out my hand and wait for her to take it...which she does.  Well, that's a start.

I pull her up easily...she feels more fragile than she used to...and she also smells like the locker room after a game or a grueling practice...

Mason: I'm guessing you found the gym.
Hadley: Huh? Oh...yeah...ugh...I stink don't I? I'm probably grossing you out.

Mason: Ha, I know you don't know this, but we have known each other our entire lives...you can't gross me out anymore. I'm immune.

I look at her face and I swear I can see...
Mason: Uh-oh, is that a smile?
Hadley: I guess it is...it's nice to know that someone knows me that well...even though I don't remember it.

Mason: You will...let's just take it a step at a time.

Hadley: I think I can do that.
Mason: Okay...why don't you sit right here and I run you a bubble bath.  You normally love them after stressful days.
Hadley: Okay...

So I head into the bathroom and run the water, squirt some soap in, and let it fill the tub.  Once it's full, I turn on the jets.  She always loved those.  I head out to get her when it's ready.

Mason: Okay, it's all ready...nice and relaxing for you.
Hadley: Wow, the steam feels good.
Mason: Yeah, just hop on in and soak your worries away.

She looks down at the tub and back up at me, but doesn't do anything.  At first I'm confused, but then I remember...

Hadley: Uh...Mason...?
Mason: Oh, right...yeah...I'm sorry...um, I'll just be downstairs.
Hadley: Thank you.
Mason: You are very welcome.

*HADLEY'S POV*

This bubble bath is probably the best thing I have ever experienced...

Hmm...I can't help but laugh at that thought...at this point, this bubble bath is about the only thing I've experienced.

Either way, it is relaxing.  Mason was right...maybe I can trust him.  I sink down into the scalding hot water, lay my head down on the edge of the tub, close my eyes and soak.

*MASON'S POV*

I am downstairs, but I can't seem to do anything but think about her.  What are we going to do?  Will she ever be the same again?  It's time to call someone who might have the answers.

Amy: Hello?