Chapter 10: Now I Remember Why I Can't Take You Anywhere

*BRIANA'S POV*

Waking up was extremely disorienting, especially since I am used to waking up in a dingy, mold-covered house in a bed with strings poking out of the mattress and sheets that are so thread-bare you would think an angel sneezed and made them.

I stretch to get my bearings.  Oh, what a glorious snooze.  Of course, then I think of Trevor.

I am sure he's waking up now, realizing I'm not there.  There's no telling what he will do.  

That thought terrifies me.

I have to get back and get to Keely...and find out what I'm going to do from now on.

I go downstairs and find Hadley in the laundry room.

Hadley: Did you sleep well?

Briana: Better than I have in ages.  Thank you so much for your hospitality, I must be going.

Hadley: Oh, at least stay for breakfast.

Briana: I'm sorry, I can't.  I really do thank you though...for everything.

Hadley: Oh...kay...at least let me give you a ride home...or get you a cab?.

Briana: Oh, no...I couldn't...

Hadley: I insist.

She grabs her phone and calls a cab company before I can argue anymore.  I guess my first stop is to go get Keely...but after that, I have no idea what I'm going to do.

*HADLEY'S POV*

After Briana leaves, I go outside to see Pepper.  She has grown up so much lately.  She's a big horse now.  I try my hand at riding her...

I must be doing it wrong...my body bounces up and down so much I think Pepper will buck me off of her.  Thank goodness she doesn't.

After I think I've fully bruised my backside, I get down and my phone rings.  It's Mason.

Mason: Hey baby, my parents are having a party tonight.  Should I tell them we're coming?

Hadley: Um...

Mason: We don't have to...

Hadley: No, let's go ahead and go.

Mason: Okay, Mom told me to tell you to come over any time you want.  I'll be there after work.

Hadley: Okay...see you there...

Mason: Yeah...

Hadley: Bye...

Mason: Bye.

Just before Mason gets off work, I head over to Zoey and T-bone's.  I always feel a little awkward here.  I don't know why.

I walk through the kitchen and see Evie at the microwave.

Hadley: Hey!

Evie: Hey Hadley!  What's going on?

Hadley: Nothing much....what are you doing?

Evie: *laughs* My version of cooking.

Hadley: That's a microwave meal...

Evie: Exactly.  It's about done, come on with me in the dining room...

Hadley: Okay...

Even though I still don't like her all that much, Evie and I are getting along a little better, especially since she gave me Pepper.

As we head out to the table, my dad catches me and I chat with him for a bit.

Andrew: How ya' doin' baby girl?

Hadley: Can't complain...just the usual, me with a broken head.

Andrew: At least it's a cute broken head.

Hadley: *giggle* It looks just like yours.

Andrew: *blush* Oh...

My mother walks up behind him.

Amy: Don't let him fool you.  He knew exactly what he was saying when he said it.

Andrew: *to my mother* Are you implying that I'm vein?

Amy: I'm not implying anything, I'm straight up saying it.

She winks and pats him on the back and he smiles back at her before she walks off.  I guess that's a thing between them, but I can't help but glare a little bit.  I don't like her calling him vein.  It's times like these that I wish I could remember my previous life.  I'm sure that's the kind of thing I would have laughed at before.

Hadley: It's okay, Daddy.  I don't think you're vein.

I give him a big hug.

Andrew: Haha, she's called me worse than that, punkin'...don't worry a bit about it.

Hadley: Okay, I won't.

Dad walks off and I hear Zoey somewhere in the kitchen.

Zoey: There's a cheese plate in here if anyone wants some.

Evie: Mama, you made a cheese plate?

T-bone: She bought a cheese plate...ouch!

Zoey: You know good and damn well I can put cheese on a plate.

I sigh.  More jokes I just don't get.  I head into the kitchen and get a plate.

Hadley: This looks good Mrs. Pope.

Zoey: Ooh, damn, honey, please call me Zoey - or Aunt Z.  You're making me feel old.

Hadley: Oh, I'm sorry.

She pats my back.

Zoey: I'm just teasing you, call me whatever you want.

I am really starting to like Zoey.  She is not as blunt as my mother can be sometimes.

I head back to the table where Evie is sitting now and my brother, a male version of my mother, is just getting up.  Evie is teasing him.

Evie: Ice cream, Keaton?  Really?  Aren't you a doctor?

Keaton: Yeah, it's calcium...good for you.  Hey, Hadley!

I sit down as he's getting up.  I always feel a little shy around Keaton, and I'm not really sure why.

Hadley: Hey Keaton.

Keaton: Doing any better remembering things?

Hadley: Not really...I'm starting to think I'm never going to remember.

Keaton: I'm sure you will, those memories are floating around somewhere in there.

I smile at him and we chat for a couple more minutes, but then he leaves.

Mason shows up right after Keaton leaves.
Evie: Ooooh, look!  Mason is gracing us with his presence!
Mason: Nobody likes a smart ass, little sis.
Evie: So touchy.

After Mason eats, the three of us split up.  

I sit down with my parents and talk...I'm talking about dishes, and apparently my mother is talking about a disco ball...and my father looks confused.   That I understand.

Mason goes upstairs to his childhood bedroom and does some reading.  I'm not really sure why he needed to do that, but whatever.

We spend so much time there that all of a sudden, Zoey comes out in her nightgown.

Zoey: Y'all are still here?

We all take the hint and go home.

Now I remember why I don't like those parties.  I get really stressed out because I don't know how to interact with everyone.  It's like being in a different culture or something.  I do much better at home with Mason.

Chapter 9: Independence Day

*BRIANA'S POV*

I don't want to go back, man, I don't want to go back...but I have to.  Keely's hungry and I don't have any money...and I can't go door to door beggin' people...I just can't.  So I start walking back.

It takes me forever, but when I get there, I just plop Keely right down in her high chair again and give her some food from the fridge.  It's old cheap noodles that probably don't have any nutritional value, but at least it's something.

As soon as I get her settled, I hear heavy footsteps coming from the bedroom.  My heart starts pounding just thinking what he might do to punish me.  He treats me like I'm his child or something...someone that needs to be corrected...constantly.

I turn around to face him, trying to hold my head high.

Trevor: Where...in the hell...have...you...been?

He's drawing it out because he likes it this way.  He likes me standing here terrified of when he's going to strike.  God, I hate him.  It's hard to imagine a time that I loved him.  There's none of that anymore.

Turns out I don't have to wait...he throws a swing and his hand makes contact with my face, sending my head back and putting my cheek on fire.  Right there in front of my daughter.

I don't know if it's the pain or the fact that he struck me in front of my daughter, but something comes over me.

Briana: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Trevor: What did you say to me, girl?

Briana: I called you a son of a bitch, but I don't think that quite covers it.  You're a no-good, lousy, shell of an excuse for a man and if you ever hit me again, I will tie you up by your damn balls and beat the living hell out of you with a bat...and we still won't be even for the years of torment you have put me through!

I turn away from him, partially because I'm afraid of the expression on his face.

Trevor: Oh, so we're getting brave now, are we?  You're forgetting that I'm bigger than you...and stronger...and braver.  You couldn't do anything to me if you tried.

Briana: Why don't you try me and see what happens then?

Damn, I've all of a sudden gotten some guts...which start fading when he grabs my arm and spins me around to face him.

Trevor: You listen to me you little bitch.  I'm going to forget this ever happened for your own good, but you just try...

I don't let him get it out.  I just slap him across the face...and it feels wonderful.  I know it shouldn't and I don't condone violence, but it sure did feel good hitting him back.

I pick Keely up and start heading for the door.

Briana: You're on your own.

After spitting out one of his teeth and a little blood, he replies.

Trevor: Where you gonna go?  You don't have nothin' without me!  You hear me, bitch?  Nothing!

But I'm long gone.  I don't know where I'm going, but I know it's going to be better than where I've been.

It occurs to me though that Trevor might follow me.  I watch the house and leave Keely with a neighbor with the assurance that they won't give her to Trevor...and then I'm off.

I start walking again, and soon I'm back in that ritzy neighborhood...and there's a man outside of one of the houses.

I watch him drive away...I'm so tired...I wonder if anyone else lives in the house with him?  Or if it's empty?  I am so tired that I head toward the front door without even thinking.

Woman's voice: Can I help you?

I jump, turn around, and see a woman standing behind me.

Briana: Oh!  I'm sorry...I was just looking...is this your house?

Woman: Yesss.  I'm sorry, have we met?
Briana: No...I don't think so.
Woman: Oh, well then...my name is Hadley.  You are?
Briana: Briana.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trespass...I was just so...

My eyes shut involuntarily.

Hadley: You look exhausted.  Why don't you come in?

Briana: Really? Thank you so much.

I follow her inside the large house.  It's so beautiful and warm.  

Hadley: Welcome, please have a seat.  Can I get you something to drink?  We have water, I can make coffee...or juice...would you like some juice?

Briana: No, I'm fine, really...I should probably go...I don't want to keep you...I just...
Hadley: Where do you live?  I don't recognize you from this neighborhood.
Briana: I don't live in this one...I was walking, and...

Just then, I hear heavy footsteps and just about have a stroke.
Hadley: Hey, are you okay?

Man's Voice: Hey, I'm home...they didn't have any strawberry, so you're going to have to settle for...oh...Hey, who's this?

The same man I saw leave a few minutes ago stands in front of me, and I have to say, he is a sight.  He's very muscular, and tall...and handsome...and his eyes are kind.  Wow.

Hadley: Briana, this is my husband, Mason.  Mason, this is Briana.
Mason: *holds out his hand* Nice to meet you Briana.  Is everything okay?  It's kind of late to be...

Briana: I'm sorry to have bothered you...I'll go.

Mason: No, no, I was just going to say it's kind of late to be outside, even in this neighborhood.  What can we do for you?

The expression on his face somehow calms me.  I feel like I can tell him anything and he won't bulk.  Of course, my vague sense of propriety prevents me from going into too much detail.

Briana: I'm sorry, I'm just lost...and tired...and I don't know where to go...and your wife was kind enough to let me in...I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do...
Mason: *looks at me with great concern* Where do you normally live?
Briana: On the other side of town...
Hadley: How did you get all the way over here?
Briana: I walked.
Mason: You wa-...wait, you're telling me you walked all the way over here?
Briana: I didn't know where else to go...I left my daughter with a neighbor, my husband and I...well, we're not getting along, so I left.  I don't know what to do.

I can't keep the tears from falling at this point.  It wasn't until right now that I realized just how dire my situation is.

Mason: Briana, wait, please stop crying.  Look, you're exhausted.  We have an extra bedroom upstairs.  Why don't you go to sleep and we can figure all this out in the morning.

Briana: Wait...are you sure?  You don't even know me.
Mason: Of course I'm sure.  I don't want you going back out there tonight with nowhere to go.  I'm sure Hadley agrees with me, don't you?
Hadley: *smiles* Of course I do.  Please, stay as long as you like.

*HADLEY'S POV*

After I show our unusual guest to the extra guest bedroom, I come back downstairs to my wonderful husband.
Hadley: You are the sweetest man ever.
Mason: Me?  Nah, just did what anyone would do.
Hadley: Most people wouldn't let some strange woman in their house.

Mason: You don't think she'll steal anything, do you?
Hadley: Well, I hope not...but what's in that room but bunk beds, some books, a dresser, and a desk?
Mason: That's true...
Hadley: And we are on rooms on either side of her, so it's not like she can sneak out without one of us knowing...
Mason: Yeah...see?  It was the right thing.
Hadley: Of course...unless you wanted to join me in bed tonight?
Mason: Uh...not tonight...we have guests...
Hadley: *sigh*
Mason: I'm sorry baby, I just don't want to rush anything.
Hadley: Don't go slow on my account.
Mason: Now, don't pout.
Hadley: If I pout will I get my way?
Mason: *laughs* That's usually how it works for you, but not this time.
Hadley: Okay, fine...*pout, pout*

Mason kisses me on the forehead and gives me a hug...so very...platonic...ugh.

Mason: Good night, my sweet love.
Hadley: Good night.

We head upstairs and go, as always, into our separate bedrooms.

*BRIANA'S POV*

As soon as my head hit the pillow of this obviously very nice bed in this extremely nice house, I fall sound asleep, and sleep better than I have in months.

Chapter 8: Things Get Better...Things Get Worse

Realizing that I love Mason is eye-opening for me.  My heart wants me to jump up and down and twirl around and dance and sing, and do all sorts of goofy things in the name of love.  I wonder if this is how it felt the first time I fell in love with him?  Truth be told, I still don't remember anything from before, but I'm making up for that with the new memories I'm making now.

We have been going on dates almost every night since we kissed.  

Mason: Do you think maybe we could ask them for a light bulb?

I laugh.  He is so funny.  I'm lucky to have a guy with such a good sense of humor.

Hadley: Maybe they're trying to set the mood...

Mason: Huh, yeah, the mood being 'we can't pay our electricity bill'.

Hadley: I'm sorry...are you not having a good time?...I can...I mean...uh...maybe I can...

Mason: Whoa!  Hold on a second!  You didn't do anything wrong, I'm fine...

Hadley: but...but...I want to make sure you're happy.

Mason: Honey, I'm ecstatic just to be here with you.  Don't worry.  Eventually you'll get your memory back and remember what it was like to be snarky and sarcastic.

I can't help but kind of glare at him.  I don't really like when he talks about me getting my memory back.  I feel so disconnected from that person that it almost feels like he's talking about his previous wife...and that he'd rather be with her.  I know that sounds crazy...but...I can't help the way I feel.

Mason: Hey, how about we take a walk in the park?

Hadley: Now?

Mason: Yeah...we could take a walk under the stars, maybe see some of the animals playing outside...

I smile.  He knows how much I have come to love animals.  

When we get there, we don't see any animals, but decide to sit down and watch the stars.  Mason seems a little nervous, but I wish he would hold my hand...so I ease it over to him.

Mason: Everything okay?

Hadley: Yeah, I'm fine...

I think he's leaning toward me to kiss me, but he just stands up.

Mason: Are you ready to go?

Hadley: ...but we just got here...

Mason: I know, but...it's late.

Hadley: Yeah, sure.

So we go home and once again, head to our separate bedrooms.  *Sigh*

****

SOMEWHERE ELSE IN BUTTERFLY ACRES...

Briana: Come on, baby girl!  Let's try to walk some more.

My daughter giggles and grabs hold of my arms to pull herself up.

As she takes a few more steps than she did yesterday, my heart glows with excitement.  I'm so proud of my little girl.

Footsteps signal my husband coming up behind me.  I don't like having my back to him, so I end the walking lesson for the day and wait for the bitching to start.  The house is clean, dinner is ready, and the baby is being cared for, but I'm sure he'll still find something to bitch about.  He has a knack for it.

Of course, just as I pick her up, Keely starts screaming.  Great, he's going to be pissed.

Trevor: Would you shut that baby up?!  I just got home from work and I don't want to listen to no hollarin'

Briana: *quietly* She's a baby, that's what they do...
Trevor: *gets right in my face* What did you say to me?
Briana: *look down* Nothing, nothing...you're right, I'll make her be quiet.
Trevor: I could swear I heard that smart mouth of yours...
Briana: No...no...you didn't...
Trevor: You callin' me a liar?

I put Keely in her high chair with some food to quiet her.
Briana: Please, Trevor...not in front of the baby...please...
Trevor: No, you gotta learn to mind...and she has to learn too...

Before I can even think about it, I grab Keely up and run...I run out of this hell hole house I've been living in for far too long.  I don't know where I'm going and whenever I get back, I know I'm in for it, but for right now I'm free.

I walk so far, my feet hurt, but I want to make sure he won't follow me.  

I walk all the way to a really nice part of town...nice houses, nice cars...
Why couldn't I be born into a nice family with nice things like this?

Chapter 7: All Over Again

Taking care of Pepper has really brought a lot of joy into my life.  I didn't realize how much I enjoyed being a nurturer.  Mason tells me that I have always been that way - of course I can't remember anything about how I used to be, but this feels right.

"Well good morning ladies," I hear Mason walk out and greet me after I finish feeding Pepper.  I turn around and smile.  Hearing his voice is becoming more soothing to me over time.

"Are you ready to go to the game?" he asks.

I had almost forgot, "Do you think Pep will be okay without me here?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," he replies, "but Evie's sending Layton over to keep an eye on her to make sure."

I am continually amazed at how  well he knows me...obviously more than I know myself.  He knew that just saying Pepper would be fine would not be enough for me.

"So what's the plan?  Am I going to watch while you do all the pre-game stuff?" I ask on the way.

"Actually the game isn't until this afternoon," he starts, "I have made us some plans for lunch."

"Oh..." I'm not really one for surprises as of late.

But when he stops the car, we're at the park.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"I thought a picnic might be nice," he replies and gets out of the car, pulling a basket out of the trunk.

"A picnic?  With what?  I thought you were anti-cooking..."

He laughs, "Don't get excited.  They're just hot dogs..."

"...but you told me you've blown them up before..."

"...and Amy made them." He laughs again.

"Oh, ok...so we're safe."

I've been slowly re-learning everything about my life, and one of those things is that Mason's hot dogs taste like rubber.  Amy's - or my mother's - taste spectacular.

"Is there coleslaw?" I ask.

"Isn't there always?" He answers in a voice I'm sure also comes out during much more private settings.  My heart can't but jump a bit.

"You are too good," I reply as he hands me a delicious looking hot dog covered with cheese, mustard, chili, onions, and coleslaw...a true southern delicacy...seriously...try it.

"I try," he replies.  There's that voice again...

"So what brought all this on?" I ask

"Well," he starts, "I thought it might be nice.  We have to eat anyway, right?"

Something occurs to me...

"You know what...?" I start...

"What?" He asks...but I've already lost my train of thought.

"Oh!  Look!  It's a deer!"

Mason is looking at me, but I just noticed the deer...

"What?" he asks.

"It's a fawn!  See?  Isn't it so pretty?"  Seeing the deer has me so excited, I completely forget what I was going to say.

"Um....yeah," Mason agrees.  He's looking at me with a confused expression on his face.

Now it's my turn to be confused, "What?  Why are you looking at me like that?"

We stand up and I look at him.  He's so...he's just so...

"It's nothing," he responds to my question, "You've never been this much of an animal person, but I guess maybe I understand it.  You've always been a nurturer."

We walk a ways over near the pond and I watch the fish swimming around like crazy.

"I actually have a surprise for you," he tells me.

"What is it?"

"I asked Tony to come here with Lady, their horse, so you could have a chance to ride." He tells me.

I throw my arms around him before I can help myself.

"Thank you!"

His body feels so warm, I kind of don't want to stop hugging him, and he doesn't pull away.  He sighs.

I pull away first.

"Um...I'm sorry," I reply, embarrassed.

"No, don't be...I actually wouldn't mind if you did that all the time." he replies laughing.

It's one of the very few times he's ever talked about his own needs and I feel bad.  This must be hard for him.

"Anyway," he thankfully changes the subject, "I have to go do pregame stuff and they won't let people in until game time, so I thought you would like to practice riding until then."

"I would love it," I reply, "how are you so perfect?"

He laughs, "I'm far from perfect, trust me.  You'll remember that whenever you get your memory back."

We say our goodbyes as he leaves for the stadium and I head over to where Tony is with the horse.

"Tony?" I ask, unsure, "Have I ever rode before?"

"Um, I don't know," he replies, "I'm not the one to ask...Mason or Evie would know."

So I give it my best shot, and I'm actually able to get up on the horse, but she doesn't like it very much.

Any illusion I had of jumping on this horse and riding off into the sunset are dashed as I fall off off and damn near break my neck.  Thankfully, by then it's time to head to the game.

I'm really more excited to be going to Mason's football game than I ever thought I would.  I am pretty sure I'm going to be confused, but when I get there, I am surrounded by women talking about their husbands or boyfriends winning the game and what they're going to do with the bonus checks.  I just smile politely, but role my eyes on the inside.

I watch Mason the whole time, like he asked me to and am overjoyed when his team wins 9 to 1!

"That was amazing," I tell him when he meets me outside.
"Thanks," he replies shyly.

Looking at him now, I realize what I've been wanting to tell him all day.

"Mason..." I start, but then pause.
"Yes?" He looks at me expectantly, almost as if he knows what I want to say, or at least hopes.
"I think..."
"What?" He encourages me to continue, "What is it?"

But my brain can't formulate the words.  All I can do is look at him...

Take a deep breath...

...lean in...

...wrap my arms around him and give him the best, most passionate kiss I can...and pray that I remember how.

He's shocked at first, but he catches up quickly.  I think he loses control of himself for a minute.  I don't remember what kissing him was like before, but this is desperate...urgent, like in his eyes, kissing me might be the most important thing he has to do...like it might solve world hunger or homelessness...

I agree with his desperation by digging my nails into his back.  Even though my memory is gone, my body seems to know exactly what to do...and apparently it also knows exactly what Mason's body wants...this is almost surreal.

When we finally pull away, he catches his breath and asks me, "What was it you were trying to say?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you...again."