Chapter 28: You've Always Been Grouchy, Now You're a Grouchy Old Man

*THIS IS GOING TO BE NARRATED BY HADLEY, BUT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, THERE ARE GOING TO BE PLENTY OF HADLEY AND MASON STORIES TO COME, BUT I'M GOING TO THROW ONE OR TWO IN ABOUT THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY*

Time just keeps moving on, doesn't it?

I am reminded of this when my mother calls me out of the blue.

"Hey baby, what are you doing tomorrow night?" she asks me.

My response is simple mixed with a little sarcasm as always, "Probably a whole lotta nothin'...why?"

"You know tomorrow is Daddy's birthday, right?"

"Oh shoot!  Really?"

My daddy is finally for real retiring (he had a lot of stops and starts) and aging up into an old man.  It makes me kind of sad.  He's also the first of him, Mama, Aunt Z, and Uncle T-Bone to age up.

Mama continues, "Yeah, you're coming to his party right?"

I roll my eyes.  My mom is a little neurotic when it comes to stuff sometimes and she will most likely call me five more times between now and tomorrow night to make sure I'm still coming, "No, I'm going to go drink a fifth of vodka and start dancin' at the strip club..."

"All right, smart-ass." 

"Seriously Mama...do I need to bring anything?" I ask.

"Just yourself...and Mason and TJ..." Mama responds.

"How's Daddy handling retirement?" Like I mentioned before, Daddy has tried to retire I don't know how many times, but he keeps going back.  He's currently the superintendent of schools, which is better than having to put up with brats, but it's still too much for him.

Mama tells me, "He was okay with it, excited and they threw him a big party at the school and he was talking about how he and I are going to do all this traveling now..."

"Are you?"

"Hell no, you know what a cheapskate he is...we'd be doing the Motel 6 tour all across the country."

I laugh.  Yeah, that would be what they would do.  I can just hear Daddy now, "We don't have to be stayin' at no damn fancy hotel...the Motel 6 will be just fine."

Mama would whine, "Come on, baby, can't we just stay at the Comfort Inn."

"Amy, we don't want to seem uppity," he would respond.

"Hello, space cadet!" Mama is getting my attention.

"Sorry Mama, I was just...spacing..." I tell her.

"Anyway, when he got home, he was crabby as hell and bitching about having nothing to do." Mama finishes her story.

That doesn't surprise me either.  I get my hot temper from Daddy.

Mama and I talk for a few minutes and I tell her Mason and I will be there, but that TJ is a little young and might get a sitter.  That makes Mama whine a bit but she's okay with it.

*THE NEXT DAY*

Mama fixes pancakes for Daddy's birthday breakfast and he is already in a bad mood.

"Good morning baby," Mama greets.

"What's good about it?" Daddy retorts.

Mama contemplates asking him what's up his butt this early in the morning, but she figures she'll go easy on him since it is his birthday.

She decides to change the subject, "What do you want for your party?  Any special requests?"

"No one better be planning on getting me all that old man stuff..." Daddy warns.

"Honey," Mama starts trying to be patient, "no one is going to do that."

"Yeah, I'll bet..." He gets up from the table in a huff.

"Where are you going?" Mama asks.

"The garden." is his response.

The garden and the bathroom have always been my dad's places.  He goes to the garden to work out frustrations and he goes to the bathroom to be completely alone, especially when my sister, brother, and I were little.

I don't know about his bathroom, but his garden is beautiful as a result of all his hard work.

Mama is busy inside working on a new book and getting ready for the party.  Yes, Mama still writes.  She keeps telling me that's not something you can completely retire from.

Of course, she still has "my siblings" George & Gracie, the bichon frises.

"Do you want to go with me to get ready for Daddy's party?  Do you?  Who's Mama's baby?" She coos to Gracie.

Hmph.  I thought I was Mama's baby.  Damn.

So anyway, Mama gets the food made, the cake bought, and makes sure everyone is coming (she called me three times, Lila twice, Keaton probably twenty times, and everyone else at least once).

Lila, having inherited my mother neuroses, is one of the first to arrive.

Soon after that, Uncle T-Bone & Aunt Z show up.

"Hey, Happy Birthday man!" T greets.

"Man, I don't even want a party," Daddy grumbles.

"Chill out, dude.  We're all here 'cuz we care about you.  If you want, we'll all go, but I think you're being a horse's ass." T always has a way of saying things in a way that calm Daddy down...either that or piss him off so bad they get into knock-down drag-outs, but that hasn't happened since they both got old enough to break their hips.

Mason, Evie, Tony, their kids, and I get there next, and Mason notices one of dogs digging a hole in the yard.

"Should we make him stop?" I ask.

"Ain't my dog," Mason simply replies.

Oh.

I think we can both breathe a sigh of relief that we don't have a dog like that.

The next to show up, and always the last, is Keaton...this is why Mama called him twenty times.  He's probably the only one that needs it.

He and Mason are good friends though and of course have to engage in manly bonding.

"Dude!" Mason yells.

"Hey bro!" Keaton replies.

A series of grunts, comparing of muscles, slaps, body bumps, and even a punch or two follow.

Men.  I will never understand them.

Once the party gets going, and after my dad has a few beers, he is in a much better mood.

"Hey baby!  Watch this!"  Daddy tries to jump up on the coffee table...keyword: tries.

"Andrew Reed, if you jump on my glass table, so help me..." Mama threatens.

She doesn't have to worry about it because he can't get his uncooperative old body to do it, thank heavens.

"Well, I would do it though..." Daddy pouts.

"We know man," Uncle T assures him, "we know.  Haven't you broken enough furniture in your time?"

"I think our old dining room table can attest to that," Aunt Z agrees.

"You don't even have that thing anymore," Daddy protests.

She looks at him like he's an idiot and replies, "No, it's in the junkyard, I wonder why..."

Daddy (very inebriated at this point) starts getting all lovey dovey with Mama.

"Baby, you know how much I love you?" He asks as he wraps his arms around her, quite inappropriately, I might add.

She smiles in that "I'm just tolerating you right now" way that she does and replies, "Yes sweetie, I do."

"I love you so much...I would marry you all over again...and have more babies with you...Baby!  Let's have another baby!"

Uncle T-bone raises his eyebrows and scoffs under his breath.

"What the...?" that comes from Aunt Zoey.

"Remember you said that when I wake you up at the crack of dawn tomorrow with the hangover you will most certainly have." Mama replies.  

"Baby, I won't forget...let's have another one, we're not too old...I know it..." He's blubbering now.  Lord help us.

This would probably be a good time to remind you all that Mama can't have any more children and that it's a sore subject for her, because she would have been happy with a dozen more.

Mama pulls away from him and distracts him with promises of cake, "Baby, it's time to blow out your candles...and remember I bought that triple layer chocolate cake you like so much."

"Oooh, baby, how you talk..." He tries to kiss her neck...ewwww. 

She leads him outside where his cake is, stands him in front of it, and lights the candles.

"Make a wish sweetie," Mama instructs him.

"Aw, baby, thank you!  It's my favorite..." Daddy keeps yackin'.

"So quit blubberin' over it and blow out the candles dude," T tells him.

"These better not be trick candles...or I'm kicking all your asses," Daddy tells us.

We all, damn near simultaneously, look at Keaton.

"What?!" He says in retaliation.

"You didn't mess with my candles did you?" Mama asks with her eyebrow raised.

"No, Mama, and I'm offended that you all would think I would..."

"Keat, shut up, you know the only reason you didn't do it is because you didn't think about it," Mason jokes.

Everyone laughs and agrees.  Keaton looks like he wants to argue, but there's really nothing he can say.

"Come on, Daddy, blow the candles out," Lila urges.

Daddy gets a big grin on his face and wishes, "I wish my hair wouldn't go gray!"

"Well, so much for that one." Daddy grumbles, "Old age is sucking already."

Of course then he and Uncle T-bone got distracted talking about TJ...

...and by the end of the night, he says to my mom, "Ya' know, retirement might not be too bad."

To which Mama replies, "You are going to drive me crazy being here all the time, aren't you?"

Chapter 27: Love Child

*HADLEY'S POV*

Leave it to a man.  My husband snoozes away while I'm freaking out.

As soon as I sit up, the nausea takes over even more and I have to run to the bathroom.

Ugh.  Okay, let's think about this.  Maybe I'm coming down with a stomach bug.  Maybe the next door neighbor is fixing curry...wait, my next door neighbor is my sister and she hates curry.

Either way, I normally don't mind curry and now the very thought of it is making me want to head back to the toilet.

In retrospect, I have been an idiot for the past month.

Yeah, sure, let's stay in bed all month, bang like rabbits and just tempt fate.

In my defense, I couldn't help it.  It was like a child with a new toy.  It was me with my new (old) body, it was Mason playing with my new (old) body...and boy, did he...mmmm...

Shit, focus!  This is how you got into this mess!

So now, a consequence to our month of living on nothing but love is of course, a child...or at least I think.

Maybe I'm not pregnant.  Maybe I'm just getting sick and getting a migraine - that will enhance your senses.  Yeah, that's it...no need to worry, right?  Right?

Unfortunately, I'm just going to have to wait it out.

Since I can't sleep, I start painting, which relaxes me.  

After awhile, I hear walking around above me.

"Mason?" I call out.

"Yup," he replies sleepily.

"Are you coming down?"

"After my workout," he answers, "I'm starting to get pudgy..."

Hmph...you and me both.

 He continues, "Wanna spot me?"

*Eye Roll* That's Mason speak for "Wanna give me a reason not to work out?"

"Can't," I reply, "I think you broke me."

"Awww," he fake whines, "come on, baby, I'll fix you."

"Why didn't you suggest that before?" I mutter to myself.

"What?!" He yells down.  Shit.

"I've already showered," I send up another excuse and hope that works.

"All right, all right, I'll just work out," He finally gives up.

I hear him huffing and puffing upstairs for around a half hour.  He has a game today and he's not as young as he used to be, so he has to keep up his energy.

I just keep on painting because I don't have much to do...which makes me think...maybe having another baby might not be such a bad thing...I know I'm not as young as I used to be, but I'm certainly not ready to be put out to pasture...

In response, I feel a little kick and I notice my stomach is pooching out a bit more than usual.

Yup, no doubt about it, there's a little baby in there.

I want to tell Mason right off the bat, but he comes running downstairs in a panic.

"Have you seen my shoes?" He yells, running around the house.

"By the back door," I yell.

"Oh, thanks...but where's my knee pads?"

"Gym."

"Where's my helmet?"

"Same place."

I don't know what I'm worried about.  I already have someone to take care of.  What's one more person?

Mason runs around frantically looking for things while I tell him where they are and then heads over to the stadium for the closed meeting they have right before the game.

I'm not far behind him.  I'm forced to sit with the new crop of football wives.  The funny thing is there are maybe one or two women that are first wives and still married to their husbands, but most of them are second wives, so when I was Briana, I got along really well with them.  Now that I'm back to being myself though, they avoid me because they're worried whatever karma or mojo Mason had that made him go back to his first wife will rub off on their husbands.  Trust me, there's no love lost there. They're mostly uppity bitches that sit on their phones the whole time anyway.  Every now and then someone will say, "Picture!" and they'll all pose while someone uses their front-facing camera to take a picture.  My eyes hurt from rolling so much when I'm hanging out with these women.

I am never so happy when Mason's team wins the game 13 to 3 and we head out.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" He is asking me, "Dinner?  Bed time?  Please say bedtime...I'm kind of blue over here.."

I raise my eyebrow, "Baby, we had sex last night."

"Yeah, but we haven't today," he inches closer to me.

I can't help but giggle, and want to high-tail it home, but I have to catch him up on our situation.

"Yeah, well, our eagerness has a price," I tell him.

"What are you talking about?" he asks me.

"Well, honey, do you remember our parents cautioning us not to have sex when we were younger without protection?"

"Yeah," he starts, "they didn't want us to get any STD's or get someone knocked up...oh...wait...are you...?"

"Ding ding," I reply, "Surprise honey, we're having another baby."

Mason's jaw drops.

"I thought you were taking something..." he says.

I raise my eyebrows at him again, "When would I have had a chance to take anything?  I've only been back in this body for a month."

He laughs to himself before telling his joke, "And already got it knocked up."

"Haha, you're so funny," I jab him in the ribs.

"Well, I guess that's just the way things go," he says.

Well, this is anti-climatic, "I guess so."

****

As my belly gets bigger, Mason gets more excited.

"I bet it's a boy," he says talking and listening to my stomach.

I laugh, "What makes you say that?"

"He's running around like crazy," he says, "you gonna play football like your dad?"

"You already have one son that plays football with you...how many do you need?" I ask jokingly.
"Never have too many," he simply replies.

Oh, I guess it's a man thing.

As soon as I get away from Mason, I decide I want to head to the bookstore and run into a familiar face.

It's my daughter Hallie!  She has been living in town ever since my memory loss fiasco.

"Mom!  Are you pregnant?" She asks.

"I know it's insane.." I start.

"101 babies?  What's insane about that?" She jokes.

"Hey in there little bro or little sis," she talks to my belly, "have you thought of any names?"

I can't help but groan.  Give me a break, I came up with 100, didn't I?

"No, my creativity for names is kind of dwindling," I tell her, "but I was thinking about using the grandparent's names for inspiration."

Hallie and I talk for a few more minutes before my body tells me to get home and put my feet up.

She gives me a big hug, "See you later Mama, love you."

"Love you too, baby."

When I get home, I follow a string of banging and curse words until I find my husband fighting with a shower that's spraying everywhere.

"Honey?" I ask, "You okay?"

"Yeah, this damn thing is stuck and...arrgghh!!!" He starts but doesn't finish for growling.

I fight the urge to make a joke.  Mason rarely gets growly, but when he's under stress, it's more likely than not.

"Um...baby...do you want some help?" I ask cautiously after standing there for a few more minutes.

"No!  I don't have to have my wife do this for me!" He barks.

Hmph.

"I was just going to suggest that maybe it will help if you used the right end of the wrench instead of banging on the shower head so much, but whatever..."  Okay, I can't stop myself when he gets like this.

"Just...I've got this babe, don't worry about it."  He tells me.

I decide the most merciful thing to do is to just leave.  I have enough faith in him to get it fixed...eventually.

Sure enough, after laying on my bed and reading for awhile, he comes to bed...va-va-va-voom!

****THE NEXT MORNING****

I'm about ready to pop when I come downstairs for breakfast and I catch Mason reading at the table in the back yard.

After I eat my breakfast, I join him outside with a book of my own.

"Crap." I say.
He looks up, "What is it?  Is it time?"

"No," I say, "but I just realized something..."
"What?"

"We have gotten as old and boring like my parents, sitting here reading..." I tell him.

He looks up and arches his eyebrow, "Well, we could be doing other things..."

I start contemplating his horn-ball suggestion (I think we have an addiction..seriously, someone call a program, schedule an intervention...), but then I am interrupted by my water breaking...

Followed by a strong contraction...
Mason shoots up..."I have everything set up in the bedroom....and I can set up a bath tub...
I have a different idea.

"FUCK THAT!  TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL!" I shout.

"Oh...ok..." He looks surprised, but I could give two craps.  I might have gotten to where I could pop these youngins out no problem, but I haven't had a baby in quite awhile...I forgot how much this hurts.

Mason grabs my bag and the car keys.

"Okay, get in my car..." Mason instructs.  

"I'm driving, get in mine," I tell him and hop in the driver's seat.

I'm trying to concentrate on the road and the pain stabbing it's way into my abdomen while Mason wants to be Mr. Chatty...

"I don't understand why you have to drive," he is rambling.

"Because you drive like an old woman," I reply.  No time for niceties, sorry baby.

Thankfully we get to the hospital after awhile and they get me into a room with a nice bed and an epidural....thank God!

Despite the fact that I turned into a crabby bitch, Mason was right there with the wash cloth, holding my hands, getting me ice chips, letting me smack him around.  I couldn't ask for a better partner.

Finally after screaming from me and from Mason (I think I broke his hand...and kicked him in the groin once...don't ask), and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, we heard the beautiful sound of our baby's cry.

...well, that was the only time the cry will be beautiful, but who cares right now?

After getting the baby cleaned off, they put a busy, squirmy baby boy in my arms.

Mason and I decide to name him after his father, Taurrence James Pope, TJ for short.

We get home and get TJ settled in the unused nursery and marvel at the charmed life we lead.

I am never going to be bored with my life again.

Chapter 26 Pt. 2: This Ain't My First Rodeo

It was a week before anyone else knew that I was back...Mason and I literally got home and stayed in bed for days.

"I am so glad to have you back," he keeps telling me.

I laugh, "You mean you didn't like that little skinny girl body?"

"Hell now," he says between trailing kisses up and down my skin, "I missed every single inch."

And then he proves just how much.
I have to admit I missed my old body too.  It's amazing how different all of our bodies are.  I was able to make love to my husband while I was in her body, but it just wasn't the same.  Her lady parts worked differently than mine do or something, who knows.

Either way, we pretty much continue like we're a new couple for the next month.  Even though Mason does go back to work and I visit people, whenever we're together, our family knows to call before they come over.

We are just so incredibly happy that everything is back to normal.  Now we can get on with our lives, just the two of us, no complications.

Of course, as we all know, God likes to play little jokes on all of us.  Just when I say I am planning on having a quiet existence with my husband, I get a wake up call...in the form of a strong curry scent that used to always make me sick to my stomach...but it hadn't in a long time.

as I slowly lift up out of bed for fear of upchucking all over my husband next to me, I realize why curry hasn't turned my stomach in awhile...

It can't be...

Damn it...

Chapter 26 Pt. 1: Pay No Attention to The Transparent Chick Behind the Curtain

*REAL HADLEY'S POV*

Before I can let out an resounding Yes!  Capital Y, Capital E, Capital S...Mason blurts out, "No!  Absolutely not!"

I look at him like he's nuts, "Why?  So I have to die again...been there...I can handle it."

"What if something goes wrong?" He brings up, "Baby, I can't lose you again..."

"I'm only going to be dead for a little bit, right?" I offer looking at Melody for some back up.

"Hadley, you know I told you there is always a risk.  I have developed a potion that has a toxic cocktail designed to kill you but I added some "reboot juice" that should move you and Briana back into the bodies you were supposed to be in the first place, then after a little bit of time, you will re-inhabit your original bodies naturally."

"All I hear is risk," Mason interjects.

"Mason, please..." I look at him desperately.

He has an extremely serious look on his face.  I would make fun of him if I weren't pleading for his support.

He shakes his head, "No...no...I can't do it...I...baby, when I thought I lost you the first time...do you realize what that did to me?  I was lost without you."

I turn and look at him sympathetically.  I understand because I would be a broken shell of a person without him too, but I trust Melody...and damn it, I want my body back.

"I have to try babe," I tell him, tears welling in my eyes, "don't you miss me?  The real me?  I hate living in this crap body..."

"So you would rather not live...at all?" He interrupts.

"I have to try, I hate living in this little twig body," I start and then come up with an idea.  It's playing dirty, but...

"I think I know what this is," I start.

He raises his eyebrows, "If it's anything but me trying to keep you in my life, you're wrong."

Shit.  He knows me.  Oh well, gone too far already...

"No, it has to be something else," Cue the hysterical jealous wife:  "I think you have gotten used to me in this blonde skinny body and you like it better than..."

He rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air, "You've gotta be kidding me."

I hang my head, "No, I guess I underst..."

"These games are not going to work on me, sweetie," he says, "not this time.  There's too much at stake."

I sigh.  This is getting frustrating.  "So you're being selfish.  You would rather have me here and miserable than back to myself and happy."

"I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE RISK!" He yells.  "If I'm being selfish because I'm trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE, well then I'm selfish."

Melody interjects at this point, "Whoa, guys, let's cool off, shall we?  Hadley, can I talk to Mason alone?  Briana needs to be fed something anyway.  You don't want your body to expire before we can even do the spell, do you?"

"Fine." I glare at Mason as I walk by, but of course it's not as effective as I would like it to be.

*MASON'S POV*

"Am I crazy to be concerned?  Really?" I ask Melody after Hadley heads out of the room.

"Of course not Mason.  I have told her that these types of spells are dangerous, but she has been unrelenting about wanting to get into her old body."  Melody replies.

"If these things are so dangerous, why did you agree to work on a spell?" I am confused.

"Here's the thing Mason," she starts, "there are really several ways to go about this and this way is by far the safest."

"Making her die?" I find that hard to believe.

"Well, you could always kill both women, take them back to the science lab, and hope it works itself out, but that plan is riddled with instability."

"Is there anything else?  Maybe just a switch spell?  Anything..." I plead with her.

She shakes her head, "No, I'm sorry Mason, but both of them have to become completely detached from the body they are inhabiting, then they have to make it back into their original body."

"That adds another concern...what if Briana doesn't want to go back in her body?" I ask.

"I have actually planned for that.  I'm not sure if it will work, but I have bonding spells I might be able to convert that will bond each woman to their right body."   Melody tells me.

Even knowing these things, I don't know if I can do this.  I start shaking my head, "I still don't know..."

Melody looks me in the eyes and says, "Believe me, Mason.  I don't want to lose her either.  I wouldn't be trying to do this if I thought it would kill her permanently, but as prepared as we can be, there comes a point where we just have to learn to have faith."

I sigh, "She's not going to let this go."

"No, I don't think she is," Melody agrees.

I wasn't really asking because I know my wife.  She will spend the rest of her life trying to get her body back, if it kills her or if that's all she does for the rest of her life.

Being married to Hadley is sometimes more trying than anything.  I know when she really has her mind on something there is no changing it no matter how much I fight - and we have had some major fights.

"Okay, I'm going to put my faith in you Melody." I tell her.

She gives me a friendly hug, "Don't be afraid, Mason.  If I know Hadley, she will come out of this."

I hope so.

*REAL HADLEY'S POV*

When I get back inside after throwing Briana some slop, I find Mason still talking with Melody.

"So what have we decided?" I ask, almost not wanting to know.

"Melody has convinced me to let you try it," Mason tells me.

I start to argue about his use of the word "let" but I decide not to push it.

"Really?!  Oh, thank you baby!  When are we going to do this?" I ask, throwing my arms around Mason.

"I have the potions in injection form.  I figure we won't be able to get Briana to drink this.

Mason sighs deeply, "Okay, so what happens now?"

"Someone needs to administer the potions to both of them."  Melody instructs, "I suppose I will inject either Hadley or Briana and you can inject the other Mason."

"Mason needs to inject Briana," I tell them, "I know my body, he's stronger than it for sure."

So it's settled.  Mason goes down to the cubby hole and brings Briana up restrained in my body.

"What are you all doing to me?  You can't do this!  You won't get away with this!" She keeps screaming.

"Yeah, whatever, bitch." I say as I hand Melody my arm.

"Are you ready Mason?" she asks my husband.  He holds up the syringe in response.

"On my count," Melody continues, "the closest proximity we get to giving them the injections at the same time, the better."

"What is this?  What are you doing?  Stop it, look, I'll stop talking...just..." Briana is yack-yack-yacking away until all of a sudden she's not and I don't hear anything.

"Baby?  Is that you?" I can hear Mason faintly, "Which one is she?"

"Her astral form will look like her actual self - so the one that looks like Hadley." Melody is explaining.

My eyes flutter open and I look around, a bit confused, but feeling okay.  I stand up and see Mason and Melody looking at me - and a very transparent Briana - looking like her old self - or the new me...wow...

She is looking around frantically, "What did you all do to me?  Am I dead?  What the...?  Why do you look like yourself?"

"Your time inhabiting Hadley's body is over Briana," Melody tells her, "in a matter of moments, you will return to your own body and she will return to hers."

"We're going to make sure of that," Mason interjects.

Mason.  I look around and see him, standing there, looking so...gorgeous...

I walk up to him, "Hi...do I look weird?"

"No weirder than you've looked over this last year," he answers.

He stares at me grinning with his wide smile for a few minutes before looking over at Melody, "Hey Mel, how solid are they right now?"

"More solid than you would think," Melody responds.

"Good," he replies.

Before I know what's happening, he is grabbing me and wrapping his arms around me.

...and he gives me the most amazing kiss I've had all year. 

Even though I'm not completely solid at this point, this feels as close to real as I can imagine.

Melody is talking to Briana, trying to calm her down.

"Where's my daughter?  Where's Keely?  Is she alone?  Is she with her father?" Briana is asking a million questions, but they are all about her daughter, so I guess I can't get too mad about that.

Melody brings her a sleepy Keely from our bedroom, "Keely is right here, and I'm sure she misses you."

Keely grabs on to her mother and holds on tight and Briana starts crying, "You know she hasn't been as responsive to me as Hadley...and...I've missed her..."

"That's what happens when she loses her mother,:" I tell her.

"I know *sniffle*," Briana replies, "I was so *sniffle* stupid.  I had *sniffle* everything before...*sniffle, sniffle*...because I had her *sob*."

"Are you going to try and get back into Hadley's body?" Mason asks her.

"No," she replies, "I swear, I'm sorry...I was wrong...you can have your body back.  All I want is Keely."

Even though the entire time I have known her I doubt she has said even one sentence of truth, I somehow believe her.

I look over to Melody and ask, "What now?"

"I'm going to bond each of you to your own bodies." She replies.

As Melody chants and sprinkles crap around me and Briana and our respective bodies, I begin to feel a strange pull.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Don't fight it," Melody instructs, "just let it lead you to where you need to be."

Same process, I all of a sudden didn't hear anything, then start waking up and fluttering my eyes open.

I can hear Mason sign in relief, "I think it worked."

"I know it did," Melody agrees.

I feel a little heavier than I have in awhile (damn it), but I know it's my body.  All of the right joints ache a little and my hair feels the same, thick and dark like my father's.  I feel my face and feel my eyes and skin where my freckles are and for the first time in my life I wish my freckles had some relief to them so that I could feel them on my skin.

I stand up and feel so much better standing at the right height and I look over and see Briana and glare.

For the first time, I can punch the bitch and make it count because I'm not worried about messing up my face.

"Hadley," she starts begging, "I'm so sorry...for everything...I was stupid..."

"Here's the problem, Briana," I tell her, "the damage has already been done.  Mason's reputation is ruined and we have lost all this time of normalcy because of you."

"I know, and I'm sorry.  I don't know what I can do to make it up to you.  I don't have anything...other than Keely." she grovels, "but I am so sorry."

I sigh.

"Look Briana, I just don't want to see you anymore.  I'm done with dealing with you, are we clear?" I ask.

"Of course, I'm probably going to have to leave town anyway," she says, "I don't have anywhere to go..."

"No, you and Keely are going to live in this house...and you're taking that horse..." I tell her.

"What?" she's confused, hell, so am I.  I really don't like the bitch, but I just want to go home and be done with all this crap.

"I'm serious.  I don't want you running around the streets having to look for a place to live with Keely...and I quite frankly don't like horses, so you'd be doing me a favor if you took Pepper off my hands.  We'll have all her crap delivered.  There's plenty of room in the back yard."

Briana tries to hug me, but I pull away, "this doesn't mean I want to be buddies or anything.  I just want to leave.  Just tell people Mason and I got back together and now it's just you in the house."

"This is so generous...more than I deserve." Briana looks at me with awe.

"Yeah, I know, just get out of my face.  We're going home." I tell her as Mason and I walk out the door.

Getting home, I have never been so happy.  I can't believe all that crap is behind us.  Maybe now we can just work on being an old married couple.

Thank heavens for Melody.  I'm going to have to send that chick a fruit basket or something.