Chapter 29: Is It Spring Time or Something?

There seems to be a lot going on with my parents lately.

Every night I call Mama and she always has some new crazy story.

"AMY!!!!" Daddy shouts from the basement.

"I'm not a damn dog, don't holler at me like that..." Mama starts as she walks downstairs from where she was in the study, "what do you want?"

"It's Gracie...she's...just get down here!" Daddy yells.

When Mama gets downstairs, she sees Gracie, and a new little puppy...

...and another one...

...and another...

...and one more...

Needless to say, Daddy is was fit to be tied.

"Two is fine, but we are not keeping four puppies in this house..." He starts.

"Oh, but look how cute they are!" Mama gushes.

"No, no, absolutely not...don't you remember what it was like running after the two we have?" Daddy is putting his foot down, of course we all know how much good that does.  He always says he puts his food down...on a balloon, because when he does it always blows up in his face.

"Well, you just huff and puff all afternoon, I'm going to go have lunch with Zoey, and when you get over yourself, I'll come back and we'll talk about it."

"I might drown the damn things!" He calls to her.  He hates when she walks away from him in the middle of an argument, which she does all the time.

"You do and I'll water board you while you sleep," She hollers back, "Love you!"

She lets the door slam behind her.

Mama and Aunt Z meet at the local bistro, pretty much the only place to eat around here.

Zoey can see that something is bothering Mama.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"You won't believe this," Mama starts.

"Uh-oh," Zoey replies, "let me sit down, I don't know if my heart can take any more surprises."

So they sit down with their lunch and Mama simply says, "Gracie had puppies."

"Shit," Aunt Z replies, "are you all going to keep them?"

"There's no way," Mama replies, "Andrew is about to blow a gasket, and I can't talk him into any more...hey..."

"Oh hell no," Aunt Z exclaims fervently, "I don't want even one of them."
"Come on Z," Mama starts, "all the kids are gone, don't you all want some companionship?"

"T and I both have enough companionship," Z tells her, "hell, we spend most of our weekends away from each other and we like it that way."

"Well then what the hell am I supposed to do with four puppies?" Mama asks.

"Don't ask me," Zoey replies, "why don't you sell them?"

"I can't just sell them!  I want to make sure they're going to good homes..." Mama says.

"Damn," Zoey replies.

"Okay," Zoey starts, "Why don't you just give them to people?"

"Like who?  You already said you don't want one."

"I'm not talking about me," Zoey says, "What about the kids?" 

Yeah, thanks, Aunt Z.

Of course, the wheels in Mama's head are turning, and she already knows exactly who is going to get which puppy.

There are two little girl puppies: Taffy & Sophie..and she wants to give Taffy to Lila and Sophie to Evie.

Then there are two boys:  Cash & Smokey.

Her first idea was to give one to Keaton, but his answer was somewhere between hell and no, so she had to go back to the drawing board.

Luckily for her, she got a call from my oldest son Embry, who is living in town with his new girlfriend and they are expecting a baby, so somehow, Mama talks her into taking Cash, so the only one she has left is the runt, Smokey.

Meanwhile, my husband has managed to find the ugliest, meanest cat alive and brings it home to live with us. How do I know it's mean?

Just look what it did to this chair.

Either way, of course, Mama talks me into taking Smokey, so I have a new kitten and a new puppy.  Grrreat.

Really the only baby I want is TJ.  He is the sweetest baby and a breeze to take care of.  Of course, when you've been a challenge mother and given birth to 100 babies before him, one seems like nothing.

Of course, I'm not as young as I used to be, which means I wear out much easier.  Whenever he's sleeping, I am as well...and it seems like I can never get enough sleep.

One afternoon, I wake up from one of my unscheduled naps and suddenly feel a rumble in my stomach.

As a wave of nausea hits me, I barely make it into the bathroom in time.

Not again!