Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Chapter 8: Things Get Better...Things Get Worse


Realizing that I love Mason is eye-opening for me.  My heart wants me to jump up and down and twirl around and dance and sing, and do all sorts of goofy things in the name of love.  I wonder if this is how it felt the first time I fell in love with him?  Truth be told, I still don't remember anything from before, but I'm making up for that with the new memories I'm making now.


We have been going on dates almost every night since we kissed.  


Mason: Do you think maybe we could ask them for a light bulb?
I laugh.  He is so funny.  I'm lucky to have a guy with such a good sense of humor.


Hadley: Maybe they're trying to set the mood...
Mason: Huh, yeah, the mood being 'we can't pay our electricity bill'.
Hadley: I'm sorry...are you not having a good time?...I can...I mean...uh...maybe I can...
Mason: Whoa!  Hold on a second!  You didn't do anything wrong, I'm fine...
Hadley: but...but...I want to make sure you're happy.
Mason: Honey, I'm ecstatic just to be here with you.  Don't worry.  Eventually you'll get your memory back and remember what it was like to be snarky and sarcastic.

I can't help but kind of glare at him.  I don't really like when he talks about me getting my memory back.  I feel so disconnected from that person that it almost feels like he's talking about his previous wife...and that he'd rather be with her.  I know that sounds crazy...but...I can't help the way I feel.

Mason: Hey, how about we take a walk in the park?
Hadley: Now?
Mason: Yeah...we could take a walk under the stars, maybe see some of the animals playing outside...

I smile.  He knows how much I have come to love animals.  


When we get there, we don't see any animals, but decide to sit down and watch the stars.  Mason seems a little nervous, but I wish he would hold my hand...so I ease it over to him.

Mason: Everything okay?
Hadley: Yeah, I'm fine...

I think he's leaning toward me to kiss me, but he just stands up.

Mason: Are you ready to go?
Hadley: ...but we just got here...
Mason: I know, but...it's late.
Hadley: Yeah, sure.

So we go home and once again, head to our separate bedrooms.  *Sigh*

****

SOMEWHERE ELSE IN BUTTERFLY ACRES...


Briana: Come on, baby girl!  Let's try to walk some more.

My daughter giggles and grabs hold of my arms to pull herself up.


As she takes a few more steps than she did yesterday, my heart glows with excitement.  I'm so proud of my little girl.

Footsteps signal my husband coming up behind me.  I don't like having my back to him, so I end the walking lesson for the day and wait for the bitching to start.  The house is clean, dinner is ready, and the baby is being cared for, but I'm sure he'll still find something to bitch about.  He has a knack for it.


Of course, just as I pick her up, Keely starts screaming.  Great, he's going to be pissed.

Trevor: Would you shut that baby up?!  I just got home from work and I don't want to listen to no hollarin'
Briana: *quietly* She's a baby, that's what they do...
Trevor: *gets right in my face* What did you say to me?
Briana: *look down* Nothing, nothing...you're right, I'll make her be quiet.
Trevor: I could swear I heard that smart mouth of yours...
Briana: No...no...you didn't...
Trevor: You callin' me a liar?

I put Keely in her high chair with some food to quiet her.
Briana: Please, Trevor...not in front of the baby...please...
Trevor: No, you gotta learn to mind...and she has to learn too...


Before I can even think about it, I grab Keely up and run...I run out of this hell hole house I've been living in for far too long.  I don't know where I'm going and whenever I get back, I know I'm in for it, but for right now I'm free.

I walk so far, my feet hurt, but I want to make sure he won't follow me.  



I walk all the way to a really nice part of town...nice houses, nice cars...
Why couldn't I be born into a nice family with nice things like this?